I have a confession to make. I got distracted this week. The garden is planted, so that’s a good thing. Some weeding got done. I did a lot of knitting. I spent 2 hours every day moving the sprinkler around the yard and hand-watering my new plants and seeds. I spent some time crying while listening to music and missing my husband. Late spring/early summer were exciting times of year for him. I miss seeing him wandering around the property, checking things out, enjoying the stillness, peace, and quiet.
Because I took time to sit and think this week, I didn’t get much writing done. Three hundred days since he passed, I am gaining some perspective. Just as it has taken me all this time to get somewhat comfortable in our home without him in it, it will take me time to reacquaint myself with a garden he has not planted, a bench he no longer sits on, a landscape where he is a shadow of memory.
At first, I felt guilty for taking this time away from my writing. I always encourage writers to write every day, no matter what. I started beating myself up over my lapse. Then I realized that, while not putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, I am doing other important work – gaining perspective.
One friend I’ve admired for her knowledge on a particular subject, when I enthusiastically asked how she got to that point said, “Time and work, dear one. Time and work.”
Time gives perspective. In fact, time is the only way to gain perspective. We must walk away from the experience, the place. We carry it with us in memory, but understanding only comes with time and more experience. Perspective is layers of paint on the canvas of life.
Perspective comes through in our writing. Writers can only truly relate the enthusiasm of a new experience when we’ve understood, not just that enthusiasm for ourselves, but gained the perspective of how that enthusiasm changes over time – changes us or our character – because other experiences have rounded the rough edges or made them more jagged and sharp.
So, I didn’t write this week. Obviously, I haven’t come to any conclusions about anything either. I am gaining perspective. I refuse to beat myself up for not writing. I worked on my writing this week by wrestling with experiences, gaining perspective. The fruits of this week’s labors will come out in my writing – in time.
Until next time. . . ~T
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